After months of planning and extensive work, this is the result. Not much to look at or even a very good skin.
But you gotta admit. Its pretty awesome.
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An Alex Valen and a Lachlan. And a little bit of a Kyley. (Republic, Republic, We Rule, We Rule.)
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Saturday, April 12, 2008
"I'll take care of everything, you just sit back and wait."
I've said those words to many people, many times. For many years I always waited for someone to just tell me the same thing. That everything I need done, gets done. Without being asked. After all, I think I deserve that much. Just once. Maybe no one knows just how many times I've wished that. I always felt alone. Never had friends anyway. Not since primary school. I never had a reason to act "fake" or be a liar. I tried it a couple of times later on, but not when I was young. People hated me for it. For no reason. Just cause I hate metal music, I hate skateboarding and I almost dislike people who have an almost obsessive relationship with soccer. I hate soccer. Not the game. But the people who just have problems with me not liking kicking ball around a field.
Ask Bryan Cheng. Chai Chee Secondary. He knew what the kids in school did to me just cause I dislike soccer. Bryan tried to fit in as well. But I never wanted to fit in. I didn't "want" friends. If anyone really reads this, a confession to the walls, I only wanted Faye by my side to back me up. So many times. Usually when I had a problem, she'd have a solution. She disappeared when I was primary 1. I felt so alone. You know those little promises you make as a kid? The ones where you'd be friends forever. Never believe those. They never last.
I didn't want to say it, and no one knows. But it hurt so bad when I went everywhere to find Faye, only to have her say, "Sorry I can't remember". I don't hold anything against her, after all, I'm the only one stupid enough to hang on to memories. I had no evidence anyway. I had no proof. I was a horrible friend to her. And I can understand.
I bet no one believes me, not when I say I was very open to social stuff even when I was very young. All that changed pretty quickly later.
Now, everyone knows past age 14, guys are a lot stronger. I abused that, took revenge on people I didn't like. Using sticks, chairs and tables. The very people who bullied me and Bryan and many others in primary school. To err is human, to forgive is divine but to me, to take up arms and rise against the opposition, now that is where the fun begins. To be honest I took things to excessive levels. But I still felt it was justified. It felt right. No one else agrees with me. Cept anyone who was with me in primary school, anyone who felt abused by those assholes.
That was liberation to me. Everyone else just thinks it was uncontrolled violence. Two points of view. I prefer mine. Till Alex says "I'll take care of it all. Everything."...